How to Praise Your Child Effectively

Have you been appraised by someone - Boss, spouse or even your own kids? When was it? How do you feel then? Good and thinking all those hard work or heartache is worth it?

Just the same for children, they would also feel likewise when their accomplishment or effort is noticed and appraised by you.


Young children, particularly those below 10 years old, are generally approval-seeking. They would crave to be liked, loved and appreciated particularly by their parents and authoritative figures in their lives like teachers and coaches. Hence, praising and affirming them can greatly impact their behavior and self-esteem.


So how do we praise them? Basically there are 2 types:


1) Based on their accomplishment


When a child did well in his school work, sports or any other competitions, we can give him a pat on their shoulder or a bear-hug with a jubilant “Well done”, “Good job” or “that’s excellent”.


On the other hand, if the child has failed in the above attempt, we can still praise him for the effort made in the process and encourage him to press on and do better next round.




2) Based on their positive behavior progress or transformation


When a child has shown an improved behavior or is able to conduct himself better than usual, we should praise or affirm him of his “great” progress. In doing this, we are actually reinforcing his resolute to steer towards more good behavior or positive transformation.


Take note, however, this form of praising should be delivered differently for different age groups. For young kids below 8, praising them publicly would perk them up significantly as they still love to be in the limelight, and yearn for our reassurance and approval.


However, for older kids, especially those entering puberty or are introverts, they might shy away from the spotlight. Praising them in private would be effective and meaningful.




The basic thumb of rule in praising and affirming for the authoritative figures is to be generous, gracious and deliver them specifically and sincerely. You would be surprised that some kids, particularly the older or matured ones, can differentiate a genuine praise from mere flattery.