What is The Love Language of Your Loved Ones?

Whenever my 8 years old nephew come over for sleepover, i would often see a certain aspect of him which i don't get to see when he is with his parents or grandparents. And that's he being very affectionate to my hubby.

He would climb onto my hubby's lap and act like a baby. He would playfully wrestle with him on the floor and also occasionally hold onto my hubby's hand whenever we are trudging about outside.

Strange, he does not do those things with me except our regular good-bye hug.

Just the other evening, he suddenly ran and held onto my hubby's hand and sweetly called him "Papa, you are a good papa."

Coming from a family who are not into such affectionate display, i guess we have all recklessly deprived him of his love language - that's the sense of touch. And I'm glad that his need is met by my hubby who shares the same.

How about you? What is the love language of your loved ones? Is it sense of touch, spending quality time, receiving gifts, need of affirmation or acts of service?

Maybe it is time to find them out and express our love to them in their love language.

Boy Not Motivated to Study

Recently I have a new student. A bright boy, the only son of a middle-aged parents. Initially he was quite well behaved and diligently did most of the homework I'd assigned him. But later, he began to "show" his true color.

He would stare blankly and often wonder off during my one-to-one tuition lesson. He would ask me questions to deviate from what I was trying to teach him. I didn't mind that as I always believe in imparting out-of-textbook-knowledge to a curious mind. And I could still able to re-direct his young mind to our lesson.

Sadly, his parents did not see or appreciate the "additional" things I discussed with the boy. They deemed that I was not doing my job well and their son not motivated to study. So my assignment with this boy was short-lived.

Yes, this boy is not motivated to study. How could a child be motivated when he has been having a tutor since primary 2 (now he is a primary 5 student)? He has been so well "taken care of" since young academically and physically. He has never need to struggle to "find his way".  Or maybe he has tried but his effort was not encouraged.

Boys have their unique way of learning which is very different from girls'. They are always curious of things outside their world. I think we have to accomodate their difference.

A Lesson on Budgetting

Yesterday I bought my 8-yr-old nephew to an optical shop nearby to have a spectacle made. He was diagnosed short-sighted months ago but his parents have not been doing anything about it. Maybe they are cash-tight.

After a thorough check-up, it was confirmed that his left eye has short-sightedness. He dutifully tried on a few spectacle frame models to select his first "facial" accessory.

Unfortunately the particular model he picked costed S$100 which was way out of my budget. I frankly told him that and suggested him to select a cheaper frame so that I can still have some cash to get him a birthday present next month. Otherwise, it would be that S$100 frame and no present.

Being a subject of pampering from grandparents and parents, it was a tough decison for him, but a good exercise for him to realise that he cannot always have "his cake and eat it".

So he finally chose the cheaper S$68 frame.

Later when my dad, his doting grandfather, came to pick him home, I told him what happened. Unknowingly, my father drove him back to the optical shop, topped-up the $32 difference, and the boy finally had his frame changed to the S$100 one.

I know, it was such a let-down. The doting grand-dad had ruined the budgetting life-lesson I was trying to impart onto the boy.

When it comes to rearing children, sometimes "so many cooks really spoil the broth".

A Trip to the Bank

Two months ago, I brought my 10-yr old niece to a bank to deposit her years of saving. Not much, just S$93. On our way out, I teased her that she is a rich young girl now. And with a few more dollars, she would have a hundred dollar saving in her bank account.

Eversince that trip, she has become very motivated and commited to set aside part of her daily pocket money for saving.

A few days ago, my dad sent her and her brother to school. He gave them each $4 (which is excessive for a primary school kid) before parted. Later, my mom (their grandma) enquired how they spent their fortune that day. And my niece proudly announced that she put aside $1.80 for her saving. But as for my nephew, he could not account for them much. Most properly he has spent the entire $4.

Personally I'm very encouraged by the change of money sense in the girl. That simple bank trip has somewhat spurred her on to be prudent with money.

Now, I have to coax the boy to go to the bank with me. 

Boys who grew up with me

I often felt like SnowWhite while I was with these small people...

Our future Mr Universe...

Pardon them, they were rather exhausted here...

A visit to The Hiding Place (a local drug rehab centre).

Can you spot the girls amongst the boys?

Boys going to be men...

Tears of my niece

Two Saturdays back, i bought my niece and nephew for a movie treat - Despicable Me.


Along our 20 minutes car ride, my niece burst into tears as she told me how hurt she was by her dad, my brother, in one of their family outing. She sobbed bitterly as she narrated how my hot-fused brother pinched her when she failed to cross the road properly together.


My heart ached for her as I listened. I offered her tissue papers from my front seat as she aired out her pain and sorrow. i knew she needed a listening ear.


We laughed a lot in the movie. Her countenance changed thereafter. I believe it was the right time to bring them out. I can't change my brother's way of handling his kids. I just hope that by simply offering my niece my time and attention, it will make her growing-up journey more bearable.

The Boy's "Armpit" Pop

I've been teaching this particular group of 10-yrs-old boys for almost half year. They are always very loud and rowdy in class. For the past few lessons, they often did this silly antics one after another - that's to cup their left hand under their right armpit and flapped hard to produce a loud pop sound. I called that their "armpit" jokes.

 

It was silly and they often had a (not a but many) good laugh out of it. I gave them several warnings to stop that in my lesson as they were very distracting and disrupting. But my chiding fell onto deaf ears.

 

Finally two weeks ago, I sternly issued my last warning. I told them whoever did that would have to hold onto an object under their armpits till the end of the lesson. It sounded funny to them initially but, my acting was good, I delivered my verbal threat with the "I-mean-it" look.

 

Moments later, I heard a pop behind me followed by several low "All..".  I knew who did it. Without hesitation, I took out my sturdy personal hole-puncher and ordered him to hold it under his armpit till the class ended. There were some tension in the air. I held onto my stern-looking facial muscles. Everybody knew that boy had crossed the boundary I'd set earlier. Visibly embarrassed, he softly said he wouldn't do it again. And I let him off the hook after a long hard stare.

 

Their armpit jokes had ceased since then. Boys would always come out with some silly antics, we have to match them by being creative with something equally silly to deal with them. Come to think about it... that episode was really very funny :)